


Shenanigans - YouTuber One-Shots

by CooperAtion



Category: Banana Bus Squad, Minecraft (Video Game), The Crew (Video Games), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Reality, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Crossover, Dimension Travel, Elevators, Haha Ranboo go brrrr, Hybrids, Soft Corpse Husband (Video Blogging RPF), Transformation, Trapped In Elevator, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:20:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CooperAtion/pseuds/CooperAtion
Summary: A bunch of YouTuber one shots! Not always shippy, but some are so keep that in mind! If the creators have expressed that they are uncomfortable with it I won’t write it :pFandoms I’ve collected: mcyt (mainly DreamSMP), BBS, Corpse and friends (Sykkuno, Valkyrae, etc. exclu. P*kimaine) and Gøøns
Relationships: Albi | SideArms4Reason/TheDeluxe4 (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 47





	1. The trouble with elevators and claustrophobia

**Author's Note:**

> This was a really fun change of pace! Thank you knifehappypsycho for the request!
> 
> “so a bunch of faceless youtubers (delirious, dream, possibly corpse which could make them realize the others are youtubers etc.) get stuck in a hotel elavator for a while probably at a convention... after they finally get out they decide to hang out a bit since no one knows their faces :D!!! its all platonic but if you go with corpse he will probably have an anxiety attack in said elavator so keep that in mind...”

If there was one thing Corpse didn’t like, it was elevators.

Nevermind all the spiders, snakes and whatnot of the world: elevators were metal death-traps. They made him tense just thinking about it.

So when he saw the elevator he needed to take to get to his hotel room were being cleaned, his stomach twisted wildly.

He figured he’d just wait it out, until one of the employees turned to him and said: “Just take the elevator, sweetheart.”

‘Easier said than done.’ He thought, joining the short queue for the boxes of doom.

He stepped inside one with four other people, all equally intent on avoiding eye contact at all costs. He stood in a corner, watching as each of them pressed a separate button, all floors below his, which meant more time in this horrid machine.

Someone got off at the first floor, leaving the rest to ascend further. It was going relatively smoothly until...

Clunk.

They stopped. 

“Oh, come on.” The blond-haired man in front of Corpse sighed. The other two turned to glance at him, and his face shifted in embarrassment.

“Are we stuck?” Someone else asked. He was wearing a black beanie with a white question mark on the front.

“Think so.” The third guy muttered. Nothing remarkable about this guy, though he did have strikingly blue eyes.

Corpse didn’t like this. Not at all. He could feel his breathing gradually become uneven and rushed. His head spun with all the anxieties and worries that the situation presented to him. The cables could snap, they could suffocate, starve or he could be stuck in here with a murderer, and that was just listing a few. His legs grew weak, his ears muffling the voices of the people around him.

The beanie guy said something, followed by the blond guy asking him a question, and the blue-eyed guy saying something that prompted a laugh from the beanie guy. The blond guy scolded them for this and put a hand on Corpse’s shoulder. That was his first mistake.

The second was getting way too fucking close. The distance would have been acceptable under different circumstances but he was not in a very good state of mind and the close-up stranger was not helping in the slightest.

“Fuck. Fuck.” Corpse was mumbling. He couldn’t manage to make out ‘I’m having an anxiety attack, could you back off please?’, so ‘fuck’ would have to do.

Despite lacking coherence, Corpse seemed to have gotten the message across to the blond guy, who backed away and gestured for him to sit down, which he did. The elevator floor felt awful and dirty.

“What’s happening?” He heard the blue-eyed guy ask. The beanie guy shrugged. 

“Breathe,” the blond guy was saying. “My name is Clay, and I’m not going to hurt you.”

Corpse did his best with a shaky nod, deciding that this ‘Clay’ guy was trustworthy enough. 

“Are you alright?” Corpse shook is head. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

He thought about it for a moment, before deciding that they’d just have to let it pass. It’s not like he could call someone, anyway. 

“Anyone got a phone?” Clay asked. The beanie guy shook is head but the blue-eyed guy fumbled on his pockets for a second and pulled out his phone.

“Who should we call?” He asked.

“Ghostbusters!” The beanie guy cheered, getting an odd look from Clay. The blue-eyed guy just giggled. “Sorry.”

“Well, first of all we should call the fire department, then if you guys are expected to be somewhere you should call whoever you’re supposed to meet.” Clay suggested. 

The call with the fire department was interesting, but it seemed the more the fireman told him, the more nervous the blue-eyes man got.

“We’re not gonna die, right?” He asked, the beanie guy shook his head, while the phone operator assured him that they would be fine. Elevators got stuck everyday and people were fine.

Eventually he hung up, and Clay asked if he needed to call someone else. The blue-eyed guy nodded, tapping on his phone until he reached the contact he needed to.

It rung for a bit, until someone picked up and yelled in a very strong accent:

“JON! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR!”

“We’ve only been stuck for ten minutes.” The beanie guy mumbled, ‘Jon’ shot him a glare and took the phone off speaker.

“Alright, alright, calm down.” He huffed. “I’m stuck in the hotel elevator.”

There was a loud “Huh?!”, and Delirious had to take the phone away from his ear in surprise.

“Yeah, yeah.” Pause. “No there’s three other guys in here. One of them apparently doesn’t like elevators.” Pause. “I think he’s alright? Are you alright?”

Given other circumstances, Corpse would have flipped him off, but right now his hands were tangled in his hair, pulling it so they would stop shaking. 

“Does he look alright?” The beanie guy asked. Delirious shook his head, turning back to his call.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” He said. Another pause. “Maybe.” Pause. “No, I don’t think so. I’m gonna let everyone else make some calls on my phone if they need to, once I’m done talking to you.” Pause. “Do you think you could- What?! No, I’m not a child!” Pause. “No, you don’t have to! Go enjoy yourself, I’ll be fine! Luke!” Pause. “Alright, fine.” Pause. “Yeah, whatever, bye.”

Delirious sighed, hanging up the phone. “Anyone else?”

The beanie guy looked away almost sadly, while Clay nodded. Delirious handed him the phone, and he tapped in a number.

“Hey.” Pause. “No, I’m stuck in an elevator at the hotel.” Pause. “You- no, I never even told you to wait, you can go ahead if you want.” Pause. “No, meet him without me.” Pause. “I can meet him later, it’s fine.” Pause. “Dude, no. You’re both my best- Okay, Pandas.” Pause. “Alright, Sapnap. I’ll see you in a few, bye.”

Delirious took the phone back and offered it to Corpse, who shook his head and tried to focus more on breathing. 

There was a horribly awkward silence that followed, only disturbed by Corpse doing his best to deal with his own panic attack. He didn’t blame the others for not helping; they didn’t know how to deal with panic attacks, let alone when they were in they were in such a stressful situation. 

“Wait a minute.” The beanie guy spoke up after a while. He moved over to the button panel, staring at it before laughing a little. “Why didn’t we press the elevator alarm?”

The other two looked at each other and shrugged, while the beanie guy pressed it. An automated message began to play. “Stay calm, reception had been alerted. Help is on the way.”

Corpse stood up slowly and shakily, glancing at the camera in the corner. Clay seemed to catch this, looking up there as well. 

“Oh, the cameras, right.” He muttered. “Do you think they saw us stuck in here?”

“Yeah, mayb- oh, hold on.” Delirious was cut off by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He answered it, sighing when he saw who it was. “Hello?”

“Jonathan!” It was the same person who called him last time: ‘Luke’. “You’re okay, right?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m okay.” Delirious answered. 

“Is one of the guys in there with you called Dream?”

‘Jonathan’ (or Delirious, or whatever this guy’s name was) looked around the elevator, raising an eyebrow at each of the other passengers.

“Uh, yeah.” The blond guy spoke up. 

Wait...

Corpse felt himself, strangely relaxing. Dream? Dream he played with? Dream his friend? Now that he thought about it, he should have put together that the guy called Clay who had blond hair and green eyes was Dream, but he’d been a little bit busy anticipating his doom. 

“Wait, there’s a guy called Dream in there with you? His friend is down here, sayin’ his phone died.”

“Sapnap?” Dream asked, moving closer to the phone. “Can you put him on?”

“Uh, sure.” There was a rustling on the other end, and the phone was handed to Dream’s friend.

“Hey, you dumb bitch! George is gonna be late, anyway, so we don’t have to worry about that for now. He sounded so panicked on the phone when I told him you were stuck in an elevator!”

“Really?” Dream laughed. “How late is he gonna be?”

“Oh, just a flight delay, so about an hour.” Sapnap huffed dramatically. Delirious chuckled a little, the beanie guy looked very confused. “He called the elevator a ‘lift’, Dream! It was so funny.”

“Yeah, I hate to interrupt, but the receptionist is asking me to ask about the other guys in there with you guys? How are they?” Luke spoke.

“Oh,” the beanie guy looked up. “I- I’m alright. Can’t say the same for the other guy, though.”

Corpse nodded, giving a weak thumbs up, his whole body still shaking in panic.

“Oh, uh, they’re okay.” Delirious said. “Hey, what’re y’all’s names?”

“Eric.” The beanie guy gave a small salute. “Have we met?”

“No idea. I’m bad with faces.” Delirious shrugged. 

“Ha, that’s strange.” Eric chuckled. “I don’t usually show my face to people, if you get me. I’m more online than physically social.”

“Talk about relatable.” Clay scoffed with a laugh. “Only two people I met online have seen my face, and I consider them some of my closest friends.”

Corpse did his best to nod in understanding, but he was still coming down from the anxiety attack so it was kind of shaky.

“Alright, yeah.” Luke sighed. “Jonathan, do you realise you are currently in an elevator with Dream and Dooo?”

“Huh?” Delirious blinked, the gears whirring in his head as he tried to piece together what his friend was saying.

“Oh.” Eric, or Dooo rather, seemed to catch on a little faster than Delirious did, immediately realising the situation. “Delirious. H2oDelirious. So that must be Cartoonz on the phone.”

“Yeah. Hi, man.” Luke said, still waiting for his friend to register what was happening.

“Corpse.” Corpse breathed, managing to slow his breathing to an acceptable rate. “Corpse Husband.”

“Your kidding?” Dream very nearly shouted. “Holy shit, it’s so good to meet you, man! Are you okay?”

“Uh, maybe.” Corpse replied, smiling at his friend.

“Corpse Husband is in there too?! Damnit, Delirious, you’re a fuckin’ moron!” Cartoonz yelled. 

“Oh, really?” Sapnap piped up. “That’s fuckin’ sick.” 

“Oh god,” Delirious hung his head at his own stupidity, groaning loudly. “I can’t believe I didn’t realise!”

“Wow. This is... so weird.” Dream said. “So we all happen to be big, faceless youtubers? Not only did we book the same hotel for the same convention, but we also got stuck in the same elevator.”

“That’s just impossible.” Dooo chuckled. “Damn, the guys are gonna be so jealous.”

Dream and Delirious laughed, and even Corpse managed a little chuckle. The four joked around in the elevator for a while, with Cartoonz and Sapnap on the phone bringing news every so often.

After forty five minutes, the fire department had finally arrived, and the doors were pried open from the second floor. Each of them were hoisted out, Corpse going first for obvious reasons.

In the lobby, Sapnap was immediately all over Corpse, fanboying like hell. Corpse felt a little overwhelmed, but luckily Dream had to drag him away to meet their friend George.

Cartoonz dragged Delirious out soon enough and Dooo eventually had to leave as well, leaving Corpse alone on the second floor. Luckily, the stairs had been cleaned in the hour or so that they’d been trapped, and were safe to take up to his room. 

In his room, he flopped onto his bed and checked his phone. One message from Sykkuno sent ten minutes ago.

Sykkuno:  
Hey Corpse! Just wanted to check how the convention went! Hope you had fun <3

Corpse:   
Sykkuno you won’t believe this shit


	2. The upside of elevators and claustrophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2! Long awaited!

The very last thing Cartoonz thought he’d be doing on the last day of the convention was parading around a bunch of YouTubers like a pack of lost ducklings. Somehow, they had all grouped up again, once the convention died down a little and they had all said their goodbyes to their friends. 

As it turns out, when given free will, this particular set of YouTubers were more like a pack of wild dogs.

“Oh, what’s that over there?”

“Pretzels with cinnamon?! This place has everything!”

“Do you think I can speedrun buying merch before all the stalls close down?”

“Is that a Rockstar 2900 X50?! That guitar is insane! I have to have it!”

Luke gave the boy beside him a look. He was the youngest there, definitely, but still seemed just as fed up as he did. 

“Are they like this all the time?” Sapnap asked, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the four, who were now ogling a slushie machine.

“I wouldn’t know. I can tell you for a fact that Delirious most certainly is. I don’t know ‘bout the others, though.”

“Oh Dream’s only like this when he talks to our other friend George. I guess he’s still coming down off that high.” Sapnap joked. 

“And the other two?” Luke asked, gesturing to Dooo and Corpse.

“I’ve barely spoken to Corpse, but he didn’t strike me as the type of person to be so...”

“Eccentric?” Cartoonz finished. “Yeah, I get that. My friends know Dooo, I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to him directly before, though.”

“Hey! Luke!” Jonathan practically screamed across the hall. “Can we get some more quarters for the gumball machine?”

“What?” Luke asked, rushing over with Sapnap close behind, to the four idiots surrounding the sweet-dispenser. “Don’t any of y’all have quarters on you?”

“Nope.” Dooo hummed, popping a candy into his mouth. Evidently, this was not his first, as there was a colorful mess surrounding his mouth and staining his hands. He looked like a kid in a candy store. Literally.

“We spent ‘em all.” Dream added, attempting to steal one of Dooo’s gumballs, to which Dooo hissed and smacked his hand away.

“I have one left.” Corpse announced, holding up the shiny silver coin. His three new friends ‘ooo’-ed and ‘ahhh’-ed, gazing in awe as Corpse slotted the coin into the machine. 

The gumballs swirled around, the boys hypnotised by the swirl of colors. Eventually, there was a click, and five colorful candies fell out of the machine and into the tray below.

“Yes! I got a blue one!” Corpse cheered, scooping up the sweets.

“Are you sure you won’t-“ 

“No, Delirious. You can’t have any quarters.” Luke sighed, rubbing his nose bridge. “If you guys are hungry we can go get dinner somewhere, just don’t fill up on candy, please.”

“Oh my god, Dream.” Sapnap groaned, confiscating his friend’s wallet. “No more sugar for you. Next time we meet youtubers at conventions I will give you an allowance.”

“You’re not my dad, bitch.” Dream huffed. He tried to reach for his wallet back, only to have his hand smacked away for the second time in the last five minutes.

“Where’re we getting dinner? I’m supposed to record later.” Corpse asked.

“You really recording when you’re at a convention? Dude, fix your priorities.” Dooo said, patting Corpse on the back. “Now listen, I know a fantastic diner a block or two from here.”

“Great! Lead the way!” Cartoonz announced, rounding up the group and herding them out the door.

At the diner they were greeted by a grey-haired man, who showed them to their table with a hearty grin.

“And what can I get ye gentlemen today?” He asked, whipping open a notepad with surprising elegance.

“Milkshakes!” The four new friends cheered. Cartoonz gave Sapnap an exasperated look, and the two placed their orders.

“And uh, I’ll order dessert, trust me.” Doo snickered, forking over his section of the money. 

“Y’know what?” Luke sighed, sliding the money back over to him. “I’ll buy y’all dinner. You deserve it for being social for once in your lives.”

“I’m social!” Delirious whined, pocketing his cash.

“You talk to the same ten or so people every day. You don’t get out of the house, and you play video games for a living.” Luke countered, with a laugh from the others.

“What’s wrong with playing video games for a living?” Dream glared at Cartoonz, raising an accusing eyebrow at him.

“We ALL play video games for a living.” Dooo pointed out. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s our own choice to be poor forever.”

“I wouldn’t say poor.” Delirious argued.

“I don’t wanna hear it, mister 13 million subs!” Dooo replied.

“Oh, c’mon. Lets not fight.” Dream said, trying to ease the tension.

“You’re worse; 17 million!” Dooo exclaimed. “And anyway, sub counts don’t matter, because I’m the best looking out of all of us.”

“And the internet will probably never know it.” Corpse remarked, causing an uproar of laughter from the group. Maybe babysitting four fully grown men wasn’t such a bad way to spend the afternoon after all.


	3. Dream SMP - A peculiar way to wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad wakes up and he’s nine foot six. Something isn’t right...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by knifehappypsycho!
> 
> “so you get the dreamsmp group kind of doing a real life meet and greet with eachother and something happens that gives them the looks and abilities of their characters while still being in the real world xD!!! it can be in ranboo's, dream's, or BBH's perspective (dream because hes popular and the other two because im not sure any one would do something for them xD)!!! the thought was a bit entertaining since ranboo's character is 8'5" so doors will be interesting xD”  
> 
> 
> First time writing mcyt lol, go easy on me haha!

Bad bashed his head on the wall this morning. No, not the wall - the ceiling.

“What the-“

Bad hit his head on the ceiling. Because he was 9 feet and 6 inches tall.

He screamed, because what else could he do? He tumbled out of bed rather clumsily, stumbling over to his desk and- No, nope. Head hit the ceiling. Ouch. 

And, something else. Two somethings on his head, scraping against the ceiling. Slowly, he crouched down, turning over to the mirror.

He nearly fainted.

His skin was a dark, ashy grey. His eyes were completely whited out. Two horns poking out of hair the same colour as his skin.

Why did he look like his own minecraft skin?!

And why did he look the way the fans drew him?

“No, no, no, no, no...” Bad muttered, turning to his computer. Quickly, he managed to flick it on and open discord. Following his first instinct - call Skeppy.

And he would have, had Skeppy not been in a locked voice channel with Dream, George, Sapnap, Ranboo and Technoblade. So he private-messaged him instead.

BadBoyHalo  
Call now, it’s important 

Skeppy  
I can’t, I’ve got an emergency 

BadBoyHalo  
I’ve got a bigger emergency 

Skeppy  
How big??

BadBoyHalo  
Nine and a half feet

Skeppy  
Oh  
Join our vc  
Just trust me

BadBoyHalo   
K

He clicked into the channel, waiting for the audio to load in. No one had their cameras on, which was normal, but Bad was starting to suspect something was up with them too.

“Hey, Bad.” Skeppy greeted him. “So, heard you were having a problem?”

“Skeppy, what is going on?” Bad asked, sensing now from everyone’s silence that there was absolutely something up.

“Bad, my right hand is made of diamonds. I have diamond running all up the right side of my body. And I’m two feet tall. We’re all having the same problem.” Skeppy explained.

“Yeah, I’m uh, I’m a monster.” Ranboo muttered. “I am eight foot five.”

“Try nine-six.” Bad half-chuckled nervously. “So you guys all look like your minecraft personas?”

“Not me, I’m fine.” George said, and Bad could just hear the smirk in his voice.

“That’s because your minecraft skin is a basic bitch, just like you.” Sapnap remarked.

“Language.”

“This is so weird.” Dream mumbled. “And in case you were wondering: no, I’m not a blob-man. I look more like what the fans draw to make me seem cooler than I am. Mask and all.”

“Well, you’re not a pig.” Techno grunted. 

“I’d disagree.” Sapnap replied.

“Alright, cool it, guys.” Skeppy groaned, calling for order. “We can figure this out, okay? Has anyone talked to the British people?”

George coughed.

“Let me rephrase that: has anyone talked to the British people who run on a normal sleep-schedule?”

“No one has spoken to the children, or Wilbur or Phil or Ponk. They’re all asleep.” Ranboo answered. “What about the others? Surely Big Q is awake?”

“Nope. Tried Alex and Karl.” Nothing.” Sapnap sighed.

“Fundy? Niki?” Dream suggested.

“They’re even more asleep than the British guys. The only one awake right now other than us is Purpled, and he’s in school.”

“Ranboo, why aren’t you in school?” Sapnap asked.

“Wh- I’m not going to school like this?! Are you crazy?!” Ranboo exclaimed. His camera switched on, displaying the silhouette of a tall, lanky black and white beast, with glowing red and green eyes respectively. 

“Damn. Okay, never mind. Anyone got any theories?”

“No, but I’m sure you do, Sap.” Dream sighed, taking the bait.

“Inception shit, right? We’re all-“

“Language.”

“-we’re all in a dream, or something like that. Anyway, the minecraft universe is actually reality, and this is sign from someone trying to wake us up.” Sapnap continued, whilst everyone else in the call just sat in disbelief.

“There’s not even the slightest chance that that’s true.” George huffed, switching his own camera on. He wasn’t lying; he looked completely normal, but he was wearing a sky blue t-shirt with a faux Supreme logo on it, plus the clout glasses. His hair looked slightly lighter as well.

“ _There’s not even the slightest chance_.” Sapnap mocked him in a bad English accent.

“Boys, boys. Let’s all get along, okay?” Dream groaned. He turned on his camera as well, and everyone in the call held their breath, only to let it go immediately when they saw the classic white mask except...

The mask looked real. Of course it was real, but like, it looked professional. Smooth. Not some paper craft Clay had scribbled a smiley face on, but a ceramic, shiny, slightly cracked mask. 

Not only that, but he was wearing a green hoodie, and a leather harness over it (not a belt carelessly slung over his shoulder like in MrBeast’s rewind). And fingerless gloves, just to put the cherry on the cake.

“Damn, really risking it here, Dream.” Sapnap remarked, seemingly unfazed.

“Oh, shut up and turn your cam on. I wanna see what you look like.” Dream huffed, folding his arms.

Sapnap’s cam clicked on and a whole different person stared back at them. Tanned skin, dark eyes, black hair, and the classic white bandana. With his new light stubble and sharper cheekbones, Sapnap would have been completely unrecognisable. Maybe mistaken for a really good cosplayer.

“Happy?” Sap grunted. “Alright, Skephalo. Your turn.”

Bad hesitated, his cursor hovering over the ‘show video’ button. Skeppy’s camera came on, revealing that he was indeed, two feet tall, and was made of diamonds on his right side. On one hand, it was hilarious. On the other, Skeppy was his friend and in distress, and Bad wouldn’t laugh at him. However, this didn’t deter Sapnap or George from letting out a snort or two.

Finally, Bad turned his camera on. This shut Sapnap and George up almost instantly. They all seemed in shock and awe, gaping at him. It made him a little uncomfortable, but in fairness he’d probably react the same if he saw himself in public.

“Bad. You look...” Dream trailed off.

“...terrifying.” Skeppy finished. Bad was more than four times his height, so yeah, that was understandable.

“Thank you?” Bad shrugged. “It’s kinda hard to get around.”

“Tell me about it.” Ranboo laughed dryly. He stood up for reference, bumping his head on the ceiling. “See? I have to squat to get out the door!”

“Techno, you wanna do us a favour and show your face?” Dream asked, turning his attention to the one silent person.

“Mhm.” Techno grunted. There was an awkward pause, until Techno sighed dramatically and muttered: “Fine.”

His camera turning on was almost a jumpscare. A snout, tusks, rough pink skin and the regal attire. The whole shebang. 

“Ah, psh, you’re not nearly as scary as Bad.” Sapnap commented. Techno side-eyed him through the call, which Bad didn’t even know was possible. 

“Well, no one has any idea how this happened - stay quiet, Sapnap - or any ideas for a solution?” Dream asked. They each shoo-in their heads sorrowfully, and Dream deflated. 

“God, this is the worst.” Ranboo whined, faceplanting on his desk.

“So.”

“So...”

“Nice LEDs, Bad. Are they new?”

Bad raised an eyebrow at George. He didn’t have LEDs, what was he talking about?

“George, I don’t-“ Bad turned around, and sure enough, there was a florescent purple glow from behind him, illuminating the room. It seemed to be coming from thin air, as he couldn’t locate a source for the glow. “What?! That wasn’t there before!”

“It’s growing!”

Dream was right; the glow seemed to be expanding, slowly forming a bright purple oval, from floor to ceiling. It whirred and groaned, until a hand shot out of it abs out stumbled-

“Karl?!” Sapnap exclaimed, as Karl Jacobs himself tumbled out into Bad’s bedroom, clutching what appeared to be a brown leather-bound book.

He was wearing the whole getup. The multicoloured hoodie, the huge green swirl, the goggles atop fluffy brown hair. 

“I really need to get better at landing.” Karl muttered, getting to his feet as his friends all gaped at him. “Hey, Bad! We have to go.”

“What? Karl, what’s going on?” Bad asked, as Karl sucked in air through his teeth.

“Yeah... Um, basically you guys were all sucked up by time, and you’re stuck in like, purgatory or something. It’s written in here.” Karl explained, pointing at his book.

“What is even happening?” Ranboo mumbled, leaning back in his chair.

“I buy it.” Techno said.

“Good, ‘cause it’s true.” Karl replied. “Now, c’mon, Bad! We gotta go! I’ll be back for the others in a minute. You all need to go to different parts of the time stream.”

“Karl- This doesn’t make any sense!” Bad exclaimed, standing up but immediately regretting it by hitting his head.

“It’s quite simple actually. If I bring you all back to the same time it won’t make sense, because you’ll be possessed, Dream will be in prison, Ranboo shouldn’t even be here yet-“

“No, Karl. What do you mean ‘other reality’?”

“I honestly don’t know myself. All I know is that this is the wrong one. It’s kind of confusing but-“ Karl whipped around, and the portal began to shrink. “No time to explain, actually! Let’s go!”

He grabbed Bad’s hand, whisking him into a loop of timelines and meaningless purple and green swirls, making Bad dizzy just thinking about them. He could hear a million different conversations at once, and watched a million people die, over and over again.

But when he emerged from the portal, he had only one thought:

 _“Praise the Eggpire_.”


	4. Deluxe4Reason - Ruin everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D4 is in love with the one person he can’t have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by MithikalPerson!
> 
> “So what about an angsty fic where Deluxe4 is in love with SideArms but he’s unavailable for some reason? Maybe engaged, or something?”
> 
> The first one shot ft. The Crew!

The problem with it all was that no matter what he did, Deluxe would never, ever get another chance. Not ever. And it was killing him.

Side was engaged to someone else and it fucking sucked.

Everything sucked. Food tasted like shit. The colours of the world looked dull. Things like neon lights on wet asphalt and sunsets that warmed up his whole apartment felt painful, and not beautiful like they used to. 

It all felt so lonely without him.

“D, you gotta get over this slump, man.” Speedy said, as Deluxe continued to stare pointlessly at his and Speedy’s reflections in the black TV screen.

“It’s not a ‘slump’, Speed. It’s full on depression.” That’s what his therapist had said. “And the antidepressants aren’t helping, in case you were wondering.”

“Okay, so stop taking them?” Speedy suggested.

“I did. Nothing.” D4 grunted. He debated picking up the remote, but then remembered that he’d have to lift his arm to do that.

“Don’t you have a job?” 

Deluxe groaned and shut his eyes. He couldn’t bare to look at the discarded police cap that lay miserably on his coffee table. “They made me take time off for mental health or whatever.”

“Jesus, D4. You’re not really making this sound any better for you right now. This isn’t gonna prevent you from going to the wedding, right?” 

“I swear to god, Speedy. You have to be the most insensitive, unempathic, piece of shit I’ve ever met.” 

Speedy narrowed his eyes at his friend. Despite being completely and utterly distraught, Deluxe was still his snappy, cynical self. “Side’s gonna be really sad if you don’t go.”

“I’m gonna be really sad if I do go!” He shot back. “Screw Side, he’s a bitch anyway.”

“If he’s a bitch then why are you so obsessed with him?” Speedy remarked. “You’re gonna need an excuse.”

“I’m depressed! That’s my excuse!” Deluxe exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. “And if that’s not good enough I don’t know what is!”

“I can find so many things wrong with that.” Speedy sighed. “First of all, Side’s gonna want to know why you’re depressed, and then what are you gonna tell him? That you’re desperately in love with him? Right before his wedding?”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Second,” Speedy continued, “Side can and will make the argument that going to the wedding will only cheer you up. There will be cake, dancing, and friends. You love those things.”

“The last one is debatable.” Deluxe muttered. “And who is Side to question why I don’t go to his wedding? That’s not his business!”

“It actually very much is, as you are one of his closest friends and he’d be devastated that there’s something more important to you than his wedding.” Speedy countered.

Deluxe thought about this for a moment. If he didn’t go to Side’s wedding, it would have a drastic impact on their friendship, and might even ruin it forever. Then again, going to the wedding might fuck it up even more. Could he even stand being Side’s friend anymore, when he would have to see that ring on his finger everyday just as a reminder that Side wasn’t his and never would be?

Maybe he should just ruin their friendship anyway. He could move house. He could ask for a transfer to a new precinct. He could get a new phone number. He could start over.

And everyday he would have to live with the fact that he hurt Sidearms.

Yeah, maybe not such a good idea.

“D4? You blankin’ on me?” Speedy asked, waving his hand in front of Deluxe’s face.

“Fuck off.” Deluxe swatted his hand away, snapping out of his daze. “I just- I don’t wanna go. It’ll be...”

“Torture?” Speedy finished. Deluxe nodded, refusing to meet his friend’s eyes. “Okay, how about, you go to the wedding and if it gets really bad, you can just leave? I can cover for you - say you had an emergency or something. I can make something up. What do you say?”

“Fine. But only because I want cake.”

-

Side was greeting guests at the door of the hotel when they arrived. Deluxe had refused to go in without Speedy, so the two could head in together and hopefully minimise the amount of time Deluxe would have to speak to his unrequited crush for.

“Speedy! D4!” Side grinned, ignoring the rest of the guests to say hi to his friends. “Thank God you’re here! I’m losing my mind!” He giggled. Deluxe almost threw up.

“Don’t stress too much, Side. It’s not the end of the world.” Speedy commented, but Deluxe couldn’t help but wonder if that was aimed more towards him than Side.

“Ah, I’m so nervous.” Side laughed. “Could you guys come inside with me? I can’t do this on my own.”

“‘Course. D4?” Speedy turned to Deluxe, looking at him expectantly.

“I- uh- I have to make a call, actually.” Deluxe mumbled, heart sinking as Side’s face fell. “Sorry, Side.”

“Oh, no problem. Just promise to come in when you’re done?” Deluxe nodded, but he only half meant it. But Side seemed satisfied, and grabbed Speedy’s hand and dragged him into the hotel. Deluxe made sure to go the exact opposite way and find a good place to sob his contempt little heart out.

-

“D4?”

Deluxe perked up as he heard Side’s voice calling him from down the corridor. He’d been gone too long, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face Side. He sniffed, trying to clean up his face as much as possible and flash Side what he hoped was a casual grin.

“Deluxe? Have you been crying?” Side asked, sitting down on the soft carpeted stairs beside his friend. “Scratch that. Dumb question. Obviously you’ve been crying.”

“Oh.” Deluxe muttered, looking anywhere but Side’s eyes. 

“What’s wrong, Deluxe?” Side reached for his hand, but Deluxe moved it away.

“I- Everything, Side.” Deluxe sniffed.

“Everything?” Side’s tone was coated in concern, pleading for an answer.

“Everything.” Deluxe confirmed.

“Well, what’s everything to you?”

“You.”

Side froze. Deluxe felt him tense up next to him. 

“Oh.”

“That’s all you have to say to that?” Deluxe bit back a scoff.

Sidearms glanced around, as if what he was supposed to say would appear out of thin air. 

“I love you too, Deluxe-“

“No.” Deluxe spat. Harsh and unforgiving, though Side had nothing to be sorry for. “You don’t.” His voice cracked. “Not like I do.”

“What does that mean?” Side said. It sounded like he was forcing the words out of his throat, forcing him to delve further into this mess of emotions. “Deluxe? What does that-“

“I’m in love with you, Side! I didn’t think that so fucking hard to understand!” Deluxe cried. Side was stunned into silence, taken aback by the confession. “And now I have to change my phone number, and move house, and ask for a transfer-“

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Side asked under his breath, his expression unreadable.

“I can’t live like this! I love you! You don’t love me! You’re getting married!” Deluxe practically yelled. “I’m done! I’m fucking up my life! I’m starting over!”

“Deluxe... No, you can’t.” Side shook his head slowly. “You can’t do that to me.”

“Do what?” Deluxe snapped.

“Say you love me. After all these years. That’s not fair.” Side whispered. “After I spent so long chasing you. So long learning to move on. You can’t do that.”

“Well, now it’s my turn.” Deluxe hissed. “And now we’re both gonna have to live with this for the rest of our lives.”

“D-“ but Side couldn’t talk. He had Deluxe’s lips pressed firmly against his own. They fit together magically. Like it was meant to be. But it wasn’t, and this they both knew.

But Deluxe tasted like lemon juice and sugar pancakes, and sour gummies, and rock shandy. He felt electric and powerful, like he was recharging him after being dead for years. As his hand brushed Side’s cheek, it felt right but-

Side was supposed to get married today. 

And he couldn’t be with D4.

He pushed away, tears threatening to surface as the reality set in. “I’m sorry.”

Deluxe didn’t say anything. He stayed silent as Side got up, heading back to the wedding prep. Only when he was out of earshot did Deluxe speak. 

“Goodbye.”


	5. DreamSMP/BBS - a peculiar way to wake up pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo wake up in a strange new world...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know pt 2 is not what you asked for but I uh. Accidently on purpose linked the two one shots together? And left it on a cliffhanger? Sorry not sorry ;)
> 
> Requested by knifehappypsycho!
> 
> “ok so you get the dreamSMP characters of ranboo, tommy, and tubbo (you can do more if you want but those three have to be there)... you have them in a battle or something (your choice on specifics) when a portal opens up and yoinks them from the fight and drops them into another server xD!!! you can have it be the bbs one, the one with delirious cartoonz and that group, or have it be a mix of both... delirious or moo or someone finds the teens (plus others if you choose) and realize they have been through hell... the guys help them out (you can choose if the teens go back to the dreamsmp)...”

Tommy’s sword clashed against Ranboo’s. Of course, Ranboo was incredibly nervous. He didn’t know why he was such a good fighter, but then again he didn’t know much. Remembering was not his forte. 

Tubbo cheered them both on from the sidelines. He and Tommy had sparred earlier, then Tommy got mad when he lost and decided to take on an opponent he could be a little more aggressive with.

Tommy swerved to the left, dodging a blow from the enderman hybrid and jabbing his own blunt weapon into his side. Ranboo panted, surrendering tiredly. They shook hands, Ranboo congratulating his opponent on a job well done, while Tommy began to boast about how he’d learned everything from Technoblade.

Tubbo, who ran over to Tommy from sweep him into a crushing hug, stopped short. The winning smile fell from his face, as he watched both his friends blink out of existence, before all he saw was black.

When he awoke, there were so many voices he didn’t recognise. All American-sounding, though he though he heard something else mixed in there.

“I-I don’t know!” One voice was saying. “I didn’t do anything! This time...”

“You basically kidnapped him, man! Did the kid ask you to bringing him here?”

“W-Well, no, but-“

“Then you kidnapped him! God, Jon, I can’t leave you alone for two minutes!”

“Jon’ huffed, mumbling something Tubbo couldn’t quite make out. The second guy began fretting over the injuries Tubbo had sustained, which were all old scars, but they didn’t know that.

The third voice was still giving out to Jon, and asking why he had brought ‘the kid’ into his house, instead of taking him to Jon’s own house.

“You remember last time we visited? You blew up my old house-“

“That was Evan, not me.”

“-and when I got my replacement, it was filled with booby traps.”

“Well, you could have brought him to Brian’s house, or David’s, just not mine!” The voice whined.

“Who’s... What’s going on...” Tubbo muttered, trying to sit up. “Where’s Tommy, Ranboo...”

“What’s a Ranboo?” The second voice asked. Tubbo squinted open his eyes. Staring back at him was a man with a brown Mohawk and sunglasses, which would have been an intimidating look, had it not been for his soft tones and concerned expression.

“He’s- he’s my friend.” Tubbo replied. He rubbed the back of his head, looking around the room. A man in a blue hoodie and a hockey mask was staring awkwardly at him, giving him a little wave. The third guy was standing beside him, glaring intensely. He was a piglin hybrid, like Technoblade, minus the regal attire, plus glasses and shorter, curly brown hair. “Who are you people?”

“My name is Brock.” The first guy answered. “And that’s Jon, and Tyler.” He said, gesturing to Jon and the hybrid. “We don’t want to hurt you at all, Jon was only trying to help. Isn’t that right Tyler?”

“Whatever. Don’t see why we had to do this in my house.” Tyler grunted. He had the same gruff undertones as Techno, as a result of their piglin genes. 

“It was the closest one.” Jon huffed, folding his arms. “Evan’s house is too high, Brian’s is too far, Anthony’s is surrounded by bamboo, David’s is ugly, I don’t even know where Scotty lives, and Marcel’s is underwater.”

“Have you seen my friends? Blond kid and an enderman hybrid?” Tubbo asked, glancing around nervously. 

“Uh, no.” Jon shook his head, looking confused, even behind the mask. “You said their names were Tommy and Rainbow?”

“Ranboo.” Tubbo corrected. “But yeah, I have to find them. They’ll be worried sick.”

Tyler perked up, tapping his ear, or something in his ear...

“No, just- shut up a second, I can’t hear you when you yell.” There was a pause. “Brian, Jesus Christ. Okay, okay, we’re coming.” Tyler turned to the rest of the group, sighing deeply. “I think one of our fiends might have found one of your friends.”

Tubbo’s eyes lit up, beaming at the pig-man. “Well, let’s go then!”

-

Tommy hit and yelled and bit and tugged but nothing worked. He was bound by rope against a tree, staring at the backs of two brunette heads. He had a horrible feeling he was being watched...

The first guy, Brian, was yelling into an earpiece, while the second, Scotty, was complaining that Tommy had injured him. 

So he may have gotten a bit aggressive upon waking up to two strangers crouched over him, big fucking deal. 

“You Americans are such drama queens.” He muttered, unable to hold back the smart remarks anymore.

“I’m offended that you’d assume I’m American.” Brian huffed, turning to Tommy with his glowing red eye fixed on the kid. Come to think of it, that accent was not very... American-ish. Whatever, he wasn’t British, and that’s what mattered. “I’ll have you know I’m FBI: Full-Blooded Irish.”

“That’s not what that stands for.” Scotty remarked. “And anyway, our friend has your- what did you call it? Tubby?”

“Tubbo is not an ‘it’” Tommy growled, glaring with all his might at the two, hoping silently that their heads would just spontaneously combust if he stared hard enough. “Let me go, dickheads.”

“No. You attacked us, why should we?” Brian asked, feeling cocky that he had the upper hand over this... sixteen year old English kid.

“Because, Technoblade and Phil are gonna come rescue me, and then you’ll be sorry.” Tommy grinned, only half-believing himself.

“Kid, we’ve lived around here long enough, and we ain’t never heard of no Technoblade.” Scotty said, raising an eyebrow at Tommy.

“How?! Everyone’s heard of Technoblade!” Tommy insisted. “Big tall piglin guy! Kills orphans with no mercy!”

“Sounds like Tyler.” Brian muttered, and Scotty giggled. “Well, once Marcel gets back with the others you‘ll see.”

That’s right; there was a third guy earlier, with brown skin and a Dino onesie. Strange attire, but Tommy was friends with a guy in a sonic onesie, so he couldn’t really judge.

After a while, they heard shouting coming towards them, as Tubbo booked it through the trees to find his best friend. Tommy exclaimed, delighted at the sight of Tubbo’s face. 

“Brian! Why’d you tie him up?!” Brock nagged, moving to untie the ropes that bound Tommy. 

“It was Scotty’s idea! And he attacked us!” Brian complained, stepping back once Tommy was let free. Instead of attacking he simply embraced his friend, not even sparing a glance in the other direction, thank god.

“Yeah, you deserved it, bitch!” Tommy hissed, his arms still wrapped around the shorter boy.

“So this is Tubbo. He and Tommy aren’t from around here, and their missing a friend.” Jon explained.

“His name is Ranboo, he’s tall and weird.” Tommy said, looking around at the group. “None of you have seen him? He’s bloody hard to miss.”

“Let me check comms.” Marcel said, fiddling with his own earpiece. “Evan? Anthony? David? Any read?”

“Oh, Ranboo’s sort of weird. He’s got these strange abilities that he can’t control, so he may have accidentally jammed your signal. Sorry.” Tubbo said, looking worriedly and the group.

“So, he’s an enderman, that rules out Marcel’s house.” Brian said. “Where do you think your friend would be?”

“He likes... dark places, ones he can fit in.” Tubbo replied. 

“Dark and creepy...” Tyler muttered. “Evan’s basement?”

“Ceiling’s not tall enough.” Jon pointed out.

“What about Jon’s castle? The one with the traps?” Scotty suggested. 

Tommy was about to protest but his friend quickly shushed him. “Sure, let’s check.” Tubbo shrugged.

-

“We only want to talk, man!” Anthony yelled, tripping over his feet as he chased down the tall looming figure. The figure was emitting strange particles, and seemed to teleport around the room in a panic.

“I don’t know you! I don’t have a very good memory, I’m sorry!” The creature called, zipping over to the other side of the room.

“C’mon, man! Just stay still, for a second.” Evan panted, tired from running after the creature for so long.

“We only want t’ talk!” David shouted, barely avoiding falling into the water-filled pit below.

Ranboo teleported again, landing beside the Irishman. David was startled, as he fell backwards into the bat-infested well.

“Nogla! Are you okay?” Evan exclaimed, rushing over with Anthony to check on their friend. 

“God, fock!” David yelled. He was alright. “It’s fockin’ wet and cold!”

“I think he’ll be okay.” Anthony muttered.

“Oh my goodness I am so sorry in knocked you in there, I really didn’t mean to. Gosh, I am so sorry.” The creature was saying, biting his nails (Nails? Claws? Whatever was on the ends of his fingers.) anxiously. “I- I’d teleport down and rescue you but I really can’t touch water, I’m so very sorry.”

“‘S grand.” David muttered, his voice echoing off the walls. “Could ye at least have a chat with us?”

“Oh, Okay.” Ranboo mumbled, glancing at the other two. “Who are you guys? Have we met?”

“No, we haven’t. I’m Anthony and this is Evan.” Anthony said, gesturing to himself and his friend. Evan was on his feet now, stretching his arms and rolling his shoulders.

“What’s he doing?” Ranboo asked in a whisper. “I don’t want to be rude.”

“I’m gonna do something I haven’t done in a while. Always preferred elytras.” Evan groaned, straightening up. Suddenly, golden brown wings sprouted from his back, a few stray feathers falling to the floor. Evan began to float down to his friend, before returning shortly with David in his arms.

“Tanks Ev.” David mumbled, attempting to wring out his clothes once he was safe on the stones again.

“You’re a hybrid.” Ranboo exclaimed, eyes lighting up. 

“He’s not the only one.” Anthony mumbled. “I’m a panda hybrid, but you wouldn’t know it from looking at me. I’m super strong, though.”

“Wow.” Ranboo whispered in awe. “Is anyone else around here a hybrid?” 

“Tyler - he’s a piglin hybrid, and then there’s whatever the hell Brian is.” David answered as Evan stretched out his wings. “I have my suspicions about Jonathan, but he doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“Oh.” Ranboo blinked. All the hybrids back home were very open about it - Fundy, Sam, Techno, even Dream was open about not being entirely human. It was strange for there to be so many people who were self-conscious about it, though he supposed he had no place to judge. Thinking about his friends, it occurred to him that he was missing something... “My friends! Have you seen my friends?!”

“Uh, no sorry. Who are your friends?” Anthony asked, raising an eyebrow at David, who shook his head.

“Tommy and Tubbo. Two British kids, their faces are littered with scars.” Ranboo mumbled. “What about your friends, maybe they’ve seen them?”

“I- I can’t get through. Our communicators aren’t working.” Evan answered. 

“Oh, that might be my fault, sorry.” Ranboo said, trying his best to lower his particle output. The purple sparks around him reduced, flickering every so often.

“Tyler? Tyler?” Evan muttered, talking into his earpiece. “Oh, Marcel! Yeah, we’ve got him here. At Delirious’ castle. Oh, great!” He turned to Ranboo smiling at him. “Our friends are with yours, they’re on their way here.”

“Oh, thank goodness. They aren’t going to hurt them, are they?” Ranboo asked.

“No, no. They wouldn’t. At least not while Brock’s with them.” David said. 

“That’s not very comforting.” Ranboo mumbled.

There was a crash at the door, as they burst open, revealing Tommy, Tubbo and a gaggle of strangers.

“Ranboo!”

“Big man!”

Ranboo rushed over to his friends, giving them a tight hug, while the adults talked about the circumstances at hand.

“I don’t know. He was just on the ground, unconscious. Then we poked him and he bit me.” Scotty said, showing off the now fading bite mark Tommy had given him.

“Tubbo was much less aggressive. Nice kid.” Brock said, smiling approvingly at the brown-haired kid.

“The tall one was a little defensive.” David huffed. “Knocked me down into the well.”

“Ah, was wonderin’ why Evan had his wings out.” Brian nodded, piecing the clues together. “So, how do we get ‘em home.”

“Hey, where do you guys live?” Tyler asked, snorting a bit. 

“The Dream SMP.” Tubbo answered. “It’s definitely not this world, I know that much.”

“Hm, that’s a problem.” Anthony hummed, glancing at the teens. “How are we supposed to- What the fuck is that?!”

The group glanced behind them, where Anthony was pointing desperately, as a purple glow consumed the room, revealing a luminous purple portal, and a man in a purple hoodie, clutching a leather-bound book.

“Whew! Stuck the landing!” He giggled as the group stared at him with wide eyes. “Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo! We have to go, c’mon!”

“Karl?!” Tommy yelled, splitting a few eardrums. “What’s going on, man?!”

“The realities got messed up, I’m here to fix it. The book says so.” Karl grinned, grabbing the teens and herding them to the portal. He turned to the other group. “Thanks for rounding them up for me. Big help.”

“Who- Who are you?!” Marcel asked, mouth still agape.

“I’m Karl, I’m a time-reality traveller. I’m also from the Dream SMP, and I’m here to bring these guys home.” Karl looked over to Tyler squinting at him. “Your cousin, how much does he hate the government?”

“What?! I’ve never met my cousin, he’s from some Arctic place.” Tyler huffed, still confused. 

“Oh, well I’ll tell him you say hi then.” Karl smiled, practically shoving the kids into the portal. “Thanks again!” He called, before walking in himself as the portal closed.

The group stood in silence with open mouths, wondering what the hell just happened. Before one by one, they all blinked out of the world, leaving only Anthony and Jon behind. 

“What just happened?”

“Where are we?”

“Who’s that?”

_“This is not a test, this is your emergency broadcast system announcing...”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [DREAM SMP SPOILERS] 
> 
> In light of recent events, this takes place before Tommy dies :’)


End file.
